he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
