Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.