Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.