I wish i was in the wii world.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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