he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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