we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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