i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
