i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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