I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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