I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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