Will you blow on my dice?
Say something about gay babies.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
