I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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