I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
