names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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