You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize