I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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