I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
