Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
