what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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