i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize