If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
