Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
