I queefed so loud it echoed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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