I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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