I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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