Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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