never play flip cup with pint glasses
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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