Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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