Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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