I'm really into asian looking animals
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
