You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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