i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You are a genius and a whore.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
