once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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