She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
