remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My feet surprised me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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