okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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