what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
