yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
