So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
