I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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