it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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