He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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