I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
