At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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