I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize