Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
