All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
