Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
