All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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