goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
