And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
