OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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