drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
