everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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