I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
