Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
