I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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