is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
