he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
