I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
