i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
